D.N.A.

D.N.A.??? I have been noticing some things that my little girl has been doing!!! She just turned 5 and long before I put her in a private Pre-K school, she was smart. How smart?? Well...Let's just say that by the age of 2 she could say her ABC's and count to 10, she also by the age of 3 watched me play a game on the computer and a few days later she asked me if she could play. I told her that it was a big girl game and might be too hard. I told her to wait a sec. And I would turn the computer on and let her try. She told me she knew how and she could do it herself. I say O.K.
Guess what?? She logged on to the computer and go on the internet and found the game all by herself. I just stood there with my mouth on the floor. She is truly amazing. Vivien one day will rule the world.

However...She and I have a VERY close bond. I have an eating disorder that I have only admitted to about 2-1/2 yrs ago. I have to fight this battle everyday and I have noticed that Vivien is doing and saying some of the same things that I did or sometimes still do. I will have this disease for the rest of my life. I do not want my little girl to have my same problems. What do I do??? It seems like the harder I try to do things differently...It just does not turn out the way I planned. I am a 34 yr old single mom and sometimes I feel like my 5 yr old takes care of me. She is so wonderful; a handful; but I would not change anything about her and one day I hope that we are the best of friends. God could not have given me Vivien at a better time in my life. Funny how you think back at things that you wished for and never got and at the time you just think it's a cruel joke; but later on down the road an event will occur and that wish will come to mind and then God finally reveals just a glimpse of his grand plan for us. Then everything seems to be just right, just the way they should be.

Easter Weekend

I love Easter...Christmas is my favorite, then it would have to be Easter. My daughter turned 5 years old this month, the 19th. It just does not seem like I have been a mom for 5 years. She is going to look so cute in the Easter outfit Nana & Papa bought her.
I can't wait to take pictures of her. Every year my family...The following...Nana; Papa; Aunt Kim; Uncle Alan (as of about 3 or 4 yrs now); Jennifer (a.k.a."sissy"); Stephen; Zach; Vivien; Uncle Aaron (in Cali. This yr); and myself. We spend the night at Nana & Papa's house on Sat. Night.
Mom fixes dinner and then we all gather around the table and dye EGGS. Yes...Even "us" so called adults. My 2 sisters & myself always get an egg and put our name on it (as if we are going to be the one's in the morning to run out there and find our eggs that we colored. Since 2 of the kids still believe in the "Easter bunny" us big kids get to hide the eggs in my parent's huge back yard.
Then we all get up on Sun. And see what the Easter bunny brought us...When I say "us"...I do mean the 3 grandkids plus my 2 sisters (ages 31 & 24); Me (age 34); and Alan (age 31 I think); we ALL get gifts from the "Easter bunny" too.
My mom is the greatest!!! She thinks of everything.
Then if that excitement was not enough...We all get dressed and ready to take the long 1 hour drive to our Aunt Pam's house in The Colony. Across from her house is this huge field with nothing but grass and dirt (mud if it rains); we get there around 12ish; eat; then the adults go and hide (more like throw) the 1,000's of Easter eggs and candy all over this field.
It is really something to see...We make all the kid's line up and give a "ready,set,go" and about 20 kids take off into the field.
It is lot's of fun...Us big kids get busted every year...Can't we get the "golden egg" that has money in it too!!! :)

Getting Annoyed

Tomorrow 3/24 will be 4 weeks since I had surgery on my left shoulder. It is feeling better, but the muscle in my left shoulder blade/neck area is getting a little tired of holding my arm in this brace. I am not a very good paticent when if comes to follow "DOC. ORDERS". This is my 4th major surgery and I just know my body and I know that I am ready to start moving my shoulder and getting back to life.

You see...I am LEFT handed so it is a royal pain in the Butt to have this on 24/7. I'm trying really hard to do what he says, but when I can't sleep because of the brace then if just makes me crazy. My next appt. Is on 3/30...Hopefully he will tell me that I don't have to wear it at all or maybe at least get to take it off at night.

I have my brother's car right now to drive (no the doc. Did not tell me I could drive) His car is an automatic and mine is a 5 speed and at the moment there is NO radio. Vivien & I live for are morning music on the way to work & school. She is really missing the mustang as much as I am. But better to be safe that sorry.

Post Surgery

Feb.24th...I had surgery on my left shoulder to make it better. You see I am left handed and my arm was just hurting more and more every day. So...I had 3 opinions before I went through with the surgery. Some people would be like...Why did you have to get 3 opinions well I have had 9 broken bones & 4 major surgeries in my lifetime, so I was not real excited about the whole thing. I'm glad I did it.
So...During the 1st 7 days my "X" hubby watched our daughter...On the 7th day Vivien was at school and I called to see how she was ( I did the same thing the day before also), but somehow when she talked to me on this day she got real upset.
About an hour later her dad called and said he was on his way to get her at school and bring her to me.
apparently...When she found out that I would not be coming to pick her up and she was not getting to come home yet. Miss Vivien tried to escape from the classroom and told all of the teachers that she "wanted her momma and if they were not going to take her, she was going to find me anyway".
I got her back on that wed. And I'm glad. I was also going crazy w/out her.
But...It is her dad's weekend this one coming up and she has freaked out several times just when my mom or I have even said anything about going to school or her dad's
Wish me luck...
I have always said she was "MY BABY GIRL" ha ha, she could care less if she ever saw her dad again. She NEVER askes to go and see him or ever call him. Sad but true.